The Voice
by N.A9e
Summary: The voice, keep disturbing me. Would other will rejoice if I fade away? Grammatical errors everywhere, inspired by self-inflicted achromatic by Hatsune Miku.


Disclaimer : I don't own neither Hetalia nor the song.

Grammar errors is almost everywhere, please try to look for the hidden message instead of looking for the grammar errors.

Let's go!

Today world-meeting is the same as others. A complete chaos. They selfishly stated their own opinion and rejected others suggestion. I did not wish to be here, I would rather be somewhere I can eat tomatoes and enjoyed the summer breeze, completely remained ignorance towards others. I do not want to be somewhere I would be continuously reminded on how my presence would consider as unwanted and _'wouldn't change a thing'_ by _the_ _voice_.

As the last session meeting ends everyone was off to the cafeteria for dinner, quickly I walked away from others. I found myself at an empty rooftop. I walked to the edge of the rooftop and look at the scenery of the city in nighttime. Frankly speaking, the scenery is very beautiful.

The LED and streets lamp lighten up the dark city, bring the beauty of the nighttime in a big busy urban area. Hopefully it will drive the demon inside away.

I let out a small sigh as _the voice_ keep pestering me, obviously won't go away for a while.

I still remember that day, when Spain try to exchanged me with my brother. I wonder what do miss Hungary felt when she knew that someone were trying to get hold of her cute companion. I wonder what did Grandpa Rome thought about me? I wonder what did everyone see in me? I wonder if I can be **someone else** , someone that everybody would love and smile with.

 _But would that bring me the love I yearn for?_

 _To be someone else and not myself?_

I lifted my gaze and stare at the empty dark sky, the night breeze slightly blowing my dark-brown hair. I wonder if I can reach the sky and fade away. Surely, no one would shed their tears. Not for someone like me anyway.

If I died, would it bring any different to others?

Would the world be merciless enough to ignoring my presence?

I let out a small chuckle as _the_ _voice_ answering my rhetoric question,

' _what are you thinking? Obviously it will not change anything.'_

I spread my arms and embraced the cold wind, trying to balancing my stand on the edge of the building. As much as _the voice_ allured me, I still did not find any guts to end it all.

My attitude is unpleasant, a 'brat' they said. Cursing everyone out of my way, I'm trying to survive, to struggle of living in these world alone. I can't asked for help, the insecurity of mine and judging minds of others show no mercy and will not listen to me anyway.

The _voice_ keep consuming me. With no mercy, the demon will surely; one day…win.

No one would care if someone like me go away wouldn't they? I wonder if they will rejoiced when they knew this 'brat' fade away.

Everyday with this perfect mask on, no one realized how hard I fought to keep the demon away. Not that I mind anyway, _but if only…_

 _If only I was allowed to be selfish once..._

 _I wish for someone…_

I felt a strong hand yanked me backwards, dragging me away from the edge of the building.

I felt those big and warm hands hugging my waist as my captor keep my head on his chest. The hug tighten as time pass by, as if my captor shielding me from the cold night wind from freezing me. Those big arms wrapped me in a warm hug and I did not find myself pushing him away. My own arms was left limp at my side, making no move to reply the hug.

Huge palm cupped my cheeks as my captor forced me to look at his shining emerald eyes. My eyes widen as I recognized the conflict and hurt emotions in his eyes.

' _Or is it? You're hoping for something impossible, stop dreaming'_

"what are you doing, Roma?!" his voice pulled me out from the demon's accusation.

I can hear his quicken breath, his panic evident somewhere in his voice. I remained silent as my mind began to processing every information of what happened around me. Spain lowered his head, closing his eyes as he bumping our forehead together; he hugging me again.

"don't do that Roma…I— I was worried…" his voice trail off.

I let a small audible gasp.

He was…worried?

' _Of course he do, everyone would. Imagine watching someone in the edge of a very tall building, doesn't that at least warn people enough? Stop thinking that you are special'_

I let my hope died.

"geez, stop it. I was just watching the sceneries, you idiot. Everyone need some fresh air after an chaos meeting. I want to have my dinner now, let go Spain"

He seems to say something, but then slowly loosen the hug. However, he still did not let go of my hand.

"don't go somewhere I can't see you Roma." The voice is low and almost unheard, but the silence of the night make the voice audible enough for at least me to hear. Before I can asked any question he cut me off with a fake smile.

"Okay, lets go." He drag me away, leaving no room for any rejection that I might make.

I didn't make one, I let him drag me away. Although the demon have been pestering me every time I in presence of others, I manage to shut the demon this time. I need this small gesture, this one moment to drove the demon away from my mind because honestly, I'm getting tired of _the voice_.

I make no move to pulled my hands out of his strong grip.

~end~

Note: inspired by 'self-inflicted achromatic' by Hatsune Miku. As you can read, I wrote Romano POV as if he did not have a strong reason to self-harm but still thinking and wondering of committing one. I want for you readers to know that every reason that someone might thought of self-harm is **not strong enough** as _their loved one's hope for them to stay alive._ I want you to cherish every innocent life that still breathing, and I want you to know how dangerous of _the voice of devil inside._ I wrote Spain as someone I never wish he will be, I wrote him as a person that will help this kind of people unconditionally but afraid to start the first step. A lot of people knew how dangerous of _the voice_ is, but a lot of people would still rather be the spectators instead of **helper**. I want to send the message to the readers, to take the first step and help those who in need of help. I want you readers to know that even a small gesture would help them.

I choose APH Romano as the protagonist this fic because I found a lot of 'self-inflicted achromatic' in Romano version on Youtube.

Thanks for reading.


End file.
